Prankster's Trap
by Fasanation Rose
Summary: So, some idiot's grand idea of fun is to ruin the lives of everybody else through simple pranks. Unfortunately, Elesis is selected as detective to find the elusive prankster and bring him to some form of mini-justice. Clearly she doesn't know what she's doing...
1. Ch 1: A Little Morning Fun

I was bored and thought: Of the 450+ Grandchase fanfics on this site, a little under 100 are humor stories . THIS SECTION NEEDS MORE FUNNY STORIES. WHY DON'T I WRITE A QUICK ONE?

So I started one. Probably won't be more than 5 chapters at the most.

A/N: This is my first fanfic. R&R plz. I appreciate nice feedback, but if you want to go and criticize my work go ahead. Just don't go overboard.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Grandchase. All characters here belong to KOG. Heck if I said I owned it I would get a lotta lawsuits aimed at me. So let me make it clear again. I. Do. Not. Own. Grandchase. I am done =u="._

Short Story: Prankster's Trap

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><p>Chapter 1: A little morning fun<p>

The man at the table looked around furtively, hoping he was not being watched. Quickly he set up a large collection of rope and pulleys, proceeded to write a quick note, and carefully added into the contraption.

"My my…this will be fun" He murmured to himself as he slipped away into the shadows. "All the pieces are in place. Now all is left is to play the game…"

O=O=O

The smell of breakfast quickly drifted through the castle. It was a beautiful summer morning, and nothing was going to stop that, and by that I mean the sunshine. The happiness that comes with it, however, will vanish within a few hours.

Why, you ask. Well, that's an easy question to answer. It's called a lot of setup, if you didn't already guess by my rather obvious intro. Setup to what? Well you'll find out…later…

Moving on.

Well in the kitchen was the indigo knight known as Ronan. Ronan happened to be cooking breakfast that day because Arme was being a lazy ass and complaining to no end about how nobody else ever cooked. (Ah, you had to see that coming.) The big amazement was that if Ronan could cook, why hadn't he done so before?

Simple. He didn't want to.

Well, he had purposely cooked the food…not that well, so he never had to go through the duties of the semiofficial chef. After all, he wasn't exactly a chef; he was the Royal Guard Master. And so forth he would not cook well, at least, not around his… teammates.

It was already less work for him, because all the demons were off doing missions, and Rin was…somewhere…other than the mansion in which the members of Grand Chase lived, so he shouldn't complain. Arme does more work than him. He got an easy day.

He quickly carried his cooking out to the enormous dining hall. About half of the people in the building were already seated. Elesis was sharpening her blade, Lass was fiddling with a wood carving, Ryan was playing with something under the table, and Sieghart was humming a tune to himself. Upon hearing footsteps, their attention shifted to the knight with their breakfast.

"TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!" Elesis yelled at him as he came closer. "WE'RE ALL STARVING OUT HERE!"

Ronan threw an angry look. "Listen, I'm in a rather pissy mood right now, so just eat the fricking food." The guard master placed the food on the table. He began to make his way towards the hall to call for the others, when suddenly, the strangest thing happened.

Within five seconds, the knight went from standing on the floor to dangling from the ceiling of the unusually tall dining hall by a rope. A small slip of paper drifted down from above.

"If whoever set up this trap would kindly step forward, I would attempt to hold back my sudden urge to kill." Ronan was clearly not amused, and his face proved it.

"RONAN! HOW'S THE VIEW FROM UP THERE!" Ryan called from below, only to be answered with a sharp elbow jab from Lire, whom just entered the room. The others followed quickly behind.

"Who…set…this…fricking…trap…up…?" Ronan now had a dark aura surrounding him. "And…while you're all here… CAN SOMEONE GET ME DOWN?" Lass nodded and proceeded to quickly ascend the walls.

"How the heck should we know?" Sieghart yelled at the dangling knight. The same knight was now falling, as Lass just cut him down. Unfortunately, he crashed into the table, breaking it and covering himself in the food. The small paper floated up briefly, only to be snatched up by a curious Arme.

"What's this?" she murmured to herself. An also curious Lire looked over the mage's shoulder.

Ronan trudged out of the room. "If anybody needs me…I'll be in my room."

Arme quickly read over the note, then handed it to Elesis. "It's for you. Read it aloud so we can hear it." Elesis read out the note.

It read:

_Dear Elesis,_

_As you may or may not have figured out already, I have rigged the entire building with traps. Yes, though it was difficult, the entire mansion we reside in is completely rigged. Difficult as it was, I have done so because I wanted to play a little game. _

_Do you like detective stories Elesis? Well, I guess in real life the endings may not always end in the bad guy being caught huh. But, let's see if you can pull it off. Why don't you try to figure out who I am? _

_Of course I'm not going to make it easy. But I'm not going to leave you clueless either. Each trap contains a little hint to who I am. And to start you off, I have set up a little list for you. Cross off names as you see fit. _

_Lire_

_Arme_

_Lass_

_Ryan_

_Ronan_

_Amy_

_Jin_

_Sieghart_

_Mari_

_You have three days, before I come and get you myself. And then…well…that's a secret…_

_Good luck_

"Well, I guess there's nothing about sadistic torture to exra-" Sieghart said aloud before being elbowed by Mari.

At the very bottom of the note:

_Oh, and I will refuse to confess unless caught in a trap myself._

Elesis read the final line aloud. "Well, this takes out the torture idea."

Lire looked curiously at the note "It doesn't say anything about asking for help. So for now, I WILL ASSIST ELESIS IN THE DETECTIVE WORK!"

"Why are yo- Lire, for all I know you could be the one setting this up" Lire looked blankly at Elesis.

"Um…w-well…you have no proof, so just let me help. I need something to do anyway."

And so, the detective game has begun.

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><p>Meh this chapter was more of an introduction, plus it was kinda short, but hey, I gotta start somewhere. I'll try to get the second chapter up soon.<p> 


	2. Ch 2: Let the Detective Work Begin!

FINALLY UPDATED!

First reason why it took so long: Writer's block

Second reason: I got an amazing beta :D But she gets very busy sometimes.

Third reason: So many tests and so much homework...

But the wait is over, second chapter is up :D

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><p>Chapter 2: Let the detective work begin!<p>

"Lire, I swear I think it's Arme."

"Elesis, I can almost guarantee you it's not." The elf looked at the knight with worry. "Besides what are you doing anyway?" The red-haired girl looked up from her drawing.

"Oh, this? It's a picture guide." Well, it's simple to say they could barely be called pictures at all. They looked more like scribbles on a page. "This will help me keep track of suspicious activity." Lire glanced over the page. Each scribble was labeled with a name, along with a large collection of other notes. The writing was barely separable from the pictures. Scribbled under each person's name was something like: _stole their cookies, ate their dinner, ruined her bed, kicked him too hard, stole his stuff... _The list went on and on.

Under the drawing of Arme, it was labeled _Absolute Evil Psychotic Monster; probably the one pranking everyone. _This caught the Elf as no surprise.

"Elesis, why do you make Arme your enemy?" The blonde girl politely asked.

"Because that bitch wants to kill me." This earned a punch to the face from Lire. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Elesis turned red with anger.

"Don't use such foul language Elesis! And besides, Arme's not a bi-"She quickly stopped herself. "The Evil Psychotic Monster you make her to be. Just try to get along for once."

After the breakfast was remade by *cough* the Evil Psychotic Monster *cough* Arme, the two girls had moved to Lire's room on the upper floor of the mansion to gather a plan to catch the prankster who rigged their home.

"Well, it's her or Carrot-top." Elesis looked grimly at Lire. "Actually, now that I think about it-"

"RYAN WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING!" Lire cried in response. "Besides… he only hurts people who hurt nature… and… and… if you hurt him… I'l be sad..."

Elesis sighed. "ARME IT IS!" She yelled as she paraded off.

"ELESIS, WAIT!" Lire called after her. Seeing the knight paid her no attention, she quickly followed after. "ELESIS! STOP!"

O=O=O

The pink-haired dancer skipped happily through the garden. After all this time her true love finally confessed to her, and now he was taking her somewhere special in two days. That left her two days to anticipate and get ready to-.

Her thoughts were interrupted as her face met the ground, courtesy of the near-invisible tripwire. As she pushed herself up, she found a large mask-like object stuck to her head. Numerous attempts to remove the object had failed. She quickly ran off, and into a few plants along the way, looking help.

O=O=O

Elesis tumbled down the stairs. Her clumsy rush down the steps ended with a couple bruises and a headache. Lire followed quickly after, walking of course.

"Elesis haven't you thought, for one second, how we're going to get a confession. Even if it is Arme, we have no plan."

The swordswoman rapidly rose to her feet and put her hands on the elf's shoulder. "Lire, we don't need a plan. It's called re-rigging the traps, which I can do fine on my own." She turned away, crossing her arms. "I never needed your help in the first place."

"Eles-" A pumpkin-faced being had collided with the archer. This was followed by an almost instantaneous scream. "GO AWAY! *smack* GO AWAY! *smack* GO AWAY! *smack*" The elf had resorted to whacking the "monster" senseless with her bow. Wait, when did Lire get her bow?

"MURE, IPH MWW ANNY!" The creature was bawling out gibberish in an attempt to save its poor life. Ah, one does pity the poor thing.

"GO BACK TO THE WRITHING SHADOWS FOUL CREATURE OF NIGHT!" It shall be noted when Lire wants to kill a "foul creature", you run for the hills and never look back. The final divine blow shattered the literal pumpkin face to reveal…Amy.

"LIRE! SPARE ME!" The pop-star dropped to her knees, begging for mercy.

"Just this once…..you WRITHING CREATUERE OF NIGHT!" Lire's exorcist mode was canceled immediately by a (gentle) smack to the head from Elesis with her sword hilt. Amy ran away half-crying.

Elesis looked at Lire. "Are…you okay?"

"Maybe…"

"So…are we going to kill Arme?"

"Hm…I guess I shall…"

O=O=O

At the time, Arme happened to be in the library, reading out of a book on advanced magic. Also in the library was Mari, researching advanced robotics. Both were unaware of the planning that was going on between Lire and Elesis at the moment, and frankly that would be boring for us. So let's not tell her, 'kay?

O=O=O

The two of them quickly set out to work, getting bombs that they "borrowed" from Mari's laboratory, along with some fuses which they found. Finding a ladder and a net in the cellar, they quickly climbed up and began their setup.

A couple minutes later, the blonde elf asked. "Are you almost ready Elesis?"

"Just about…" Elesis finished placing the explosives on the ceiling. The goal was to destroy the ground under the library where Arme was, catch the falling mage in a net, and force out a confession.

Lire pulled out a match and lit all the fuses. Just as the sparks slowly rose, Jin walked down the hallway.

"What the heck are you doing?" The fighter asked curiously.

"We're gonna blow up the floor under the library to catch that evil monster Arme." Elesis replied instantly. Jin looked at them, confused.

"But Elesis, this isn't under the library." Both girls looked at him shocked.

"W-Wait, t-than where i-is it…?" The elf's worry showed.

"I think just under the vacant room we have on the upper floor."

"Well I guess that's no-"The red-head's words were cut off by a torrent of water crashing down from the ceiling.

O=O=O

The blue haired engineer had begun to study with the mage in hopes of providing more fruitful research. From the floor below, they heard a sudden rushing of water and a collection of loud screams. They shrugged off the event and continued their studies.

O=O=O

The loudness of the screams was rivaled only by the sound of rushing river. The currents pulled the trio through the mass collection of hallways that happened to lie within the building. Elesis, unable to swim, was flailing madly to grab onto something tied down. In her panic, she grabbed a fish which happened to be swimming in the temporary river. Before the shock could set in another fish hopped into her mouth. The elf seemed to be facing similar problems, with fish jumping out of the water and ramming into her face. The fighter seemed to be more focused on stopping himself than the mass of fish rapidly pelting him.

Out of the corner of their eyes, they saw the pink dancer descending the stairs. The moment she stepped on the lower floor, the current picked her up as well. For those who are unable to guess what happened next, I shall tell you: It's fair to say she screamed, quite loudly.

"WHY IS THERE A RIVER IN THE HALLWAY?" The dancer cried out. The foursome suddenly found themselves going face-first into the floor of the living room. The water remained, leaving about an inch of the flood on the floor. Despite this water, some fish appeared to be flopping hopelessly. A small bottle with a note inside it drifted around. Lire quickly picked it up.

To break the silence, the pink starlet wailed. "And I just changed, too." She would have broken into sobs had Jin not comforted her.

Elesis spat out the fish in her mouth. "WHY ARE THERE FUCKING FISH?" Lire ignored her as she opened the bottle. Extracting the note was more difficult than she expected. Elesis, noticing the elf's trouble, quickly threw the bottle against the wall. The note was retrieved by the fighter before it soaked.

"Jin, what's it say?" Amy finally calmed down and was now curious as to what had just happened.

Staring down at the note, the shisa's anger rose as he stared at its short message.

"Jin, are you alright?" Lire looked nervously at Jin. The fighter merely handed the note to Lire. It read: _I hope you're having fun with the fish. I have better things to do, like setting up more traps. I can't waste time cleaning up my own mess. Good luck fixing all this up, suckers. _

For all of you who like short summaries, it is fair to say that Lire was very, very ticked off.

O=O=O

After the long cleanup of the flood incident, the two girls began to plan another contraption to catch Arme. They quickly settled on an overhead setup, where a large "box of catching" could be dropped on the mischievous mage.

Using the ladder from earlier, they swiftly ascended the bookshelves to set up their plan. Making sure not to make too much noise, the girls hastily made their way across the shelf-tops, leaping from platform to platform. Finally spotting the purple mage, the two of them put their plan to action.

Before the effects of the plan activated, they felt the bookshelf sway beneath them slightly. Lire let out a slight yelp before having Elesis clamp her hand over the elf's mouth.

"Keep it down. We don't want to get caught... " The Elf nodded. Suddenly, a large amount of inaudible chattering came from above. Looking up, the pair saw a large swarm of Gons- a very angry swarm of Gons. To express their anger, a large amount of eggshells began to shower the two girls.

"Hey, stop that!" The knight hissed at them. These words did not quell their anger; it made it worse. The strength of eggshells thrown increased. As if to add to their worries, the bookshelf began to sway again as the pair tried to dodge the storm of shell fragments.

Pulling her sword from nowhere, Elesis started yelling maniacally and swinging at the Gons, which flew out of reach as she swung. Her rapid movement made the shelf sway more and more, and before it fell, the pair jumped off.

The two of them suddenly found themselves hopping from shelf-top to shelf-top to keep above the ground as the bookcases fell. All the while, the Gons were still hurling eggshells at the pair to drive them away from the room.

"CURSED FUCKING GONS!" Elesis yelled as they jumped yet again. Each shelf fell into the next, creating a chain reaction of falling bookcases.

"Elesis, we have a bigger problem than the Gons…" The blonde girl whimpered to her as she pointed down. The sword master followed her gaze, and found the bookshelf they were on was about to fall onto the mage and mechanic pair below.

Unable to stop the swaying shelf, all the knight could manage was, "Oh shit…"

O=O=O

"So if we just add some- OWW!" The mage rubbed her head, which was suddenly hit by a falling book. The pair looked up to see a suddenly falling bookshelf and a rain of cascading books. Both of them screamed. Loudly.

O=O=O

Lucky for all of them, the bookshelf happened to be near a wall, hence leaning against said wall to prevent further damage (Though a LOT of books fell off the shelf). Crawling out from the pile, hand first, was Elesis, enraged and on the verge of killing someone. Clearly the knight and the elf fell off the shelf with the large shower of books. Arme emerged shortly afterwards, completely disoriented and crying for her mother.

Elesis was mad. Elesis brought her sword with her into the library. With an unconscious Lire (from the fall), nobody ended up stopping Elesis from chasing Arme around, swinging her sword crazily and yelling colorful swear words.

O=O=O

"Elesis... what did you do to Arme?" Lire looked at the knight, then back down at the almost mummified mage. "You almost killed her!"

"That was the point." The savior replied, turning away. "Besides, after this, she'll probably stop rigging this place."

The engineer interrupted. "It wasn't her. We pulled an all-nighter last night, studying."

"Then… so it WAS carrot-top!" The sword master's eyes glared brightly. "AND LIRE, YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" The Elf glared at her, evilly.

O=O=O

Somewhere across the castle, Ryan's ear twitched. This meant only one thing: Someone was talking about him. He shrugged it off and continued to feed the fish that he found flopping around in the flooded living room.


	3. Ch 3: Hidden among the Flora

I rewrote the ending because I realized that it wasn't as good as I hoped. Enjoy the new one.

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><p>Ch 3: Hidden Amongst the Flora<p>

The next morning, a note was left on the recently fixed dining table. The paper was held in place by a small kunai. Until the sun rose, the man who placed it knew it would go unnoticed. He thought about it on the way to his room, murmuring to himself, "One day down, two more to go… when sunset comes tomorrow, we are going to have SO much fun…"

O=O=O

Elesis and her grandpa stared at the note. It had appeared mysteriously during the night, as it had not been there the day before. It was a new morning of a new day, and this mysterious prankster was not slowing his pace. The note contained a simple message:

_Dear Elesis,_

_I can see you are getting absolutely nowhere. It is quite obvious if I let you continue as such, than this game would be pointless. Hence, I'll give you a little tip or two to get you in the right direction. I'm male, and I happen to think that flowers have good use. To put some more drive into you, let's say that by sunset of tomorrow, if you don't find me, I will do something very… fun that you may or may not enjoy. _

_Ta ta for now!_

_The guy who has flooded Lire's bathtub with water and fish_

"Red, do you know what this means?" The gladiator whispered, turning to the knight.

"Not quite…" The knight replied. The warlord grabbed the sword master by the shoulders and shook her wildly.

"RED, THIS MAN IS GOING TO DO NAUGHTY THINGS TO YOU! THIS HAS TO STOP! THIS PERSON COULD SADISTICALLY TORTURE YOU FOR ALL WE KNOW!" The ideas clicked in Elesis's mind.

"Oh shi-"

"BREAKFAST IS READY!" A hyperactive Amy called from the kitchen, interrupting the conversation.

"Smells good!" Jin exclaimed as he walked through the door, even though the food clearly smelled quite horrible.

Sieghart pulled the kunai out of the table, chuckling nervously. Elesis took the note and stuffed it in her pocket.

Ronan entered the room, his usual self. "Good morning Elesis!" He greeted Elesis like he did almost every day. Elesis greeted him the way she did almost every day, with a punch to the face.

"Morning ponytail boy," She monotonously replied. Rubbing his face, Ronan sat down at his seat. The rest of the available chasers walked in shortly afterwards.

Amy walked in to the room, setting a plate of some pancakes and bacon on the table. "Enjoy!" The dancer sung as she went back to the kitchen. "I'll be making more!"

Upon seeing the food, Jin merely took half a piece of bacon and walked out the door. This came as a surprise to most, as they had expected him to eat more of his true love's food. They were sadly unaware as to how the food tasted…

Elesis and Sieghart quickly placed a large helping of bacon on their plates. Ryan did the same thing, taking pancakes instead of bacon. Shortly after the three of them took a bite out of their breakfast, all of them felt they were suddenly going to be sick.

"What the heck did Amy put in these...?" Ryan whimpered between urges to throw up. Elesis didn't bother to wait, bolting to the trash can, ready to hurl. Sieghart was on the floor, murmuring something about how he could see heaven. Lire face-palmed.

"It can't be that bad." Lire strictly said. She quickly cut up a pancake, and upon the food entering her mouth, she almost began to cry. "I stand corrected…" She murmured falling to the floor. The remaining chasers stared at the strange reaction the food caused. Mari walked out of the room, deciding to ensure she didn't eat something she would regret. This left Arme, Lass, and Ronan staring in awe.

Arme decided to try the food herself. But before she could grab a single bite, the thief stopped her. However, nobody stopped Ronan from testing the strange "death-food". Almost instantly he fell to the floor, clutching his stomach. A few seconds later, the spell knight willed himself off the floor, grabbed the disastrous meal, and slammed it into the waste bin. Nothing stopped the dragon knight from falling to the ground almost instantly afterward, completely unconscious.

The thief and the mage stared at the scene in front of them. Exchanging glances, the two dashed out of the room. Amy emerged from the kitchen with more food. Staring at the people in front of her, she screamed with success. "I'M IMPROVING! THEY'RE NOT DEAD AND FOAMING FORM THE MOUTH THIS TIME!"

Elesis decided that after Ryan, Amy was next on her kill list.

O=O=O

After recovering from the bad breakfast incident, the chasers were enjoying themselves in the lounge. Mari was in her lab, and Lass was… somewhere…

"So, I got work to do in the garden. Anyone wanna come with me?" Ryan looked around eagerly.

"Um… I guess I'll…" Lire's face was a bright red, courtesy of our nature lover friend. Noticing her embarrassment, the druid instantaneously grabbed the nova's arm and walked quickly out the door.

Elesis eyed them both evilly, sharpening her blade. Arme caught on to the knight's situation instantly, and walked over, holding a large box. The petite mage dropped the large container at the foot of the knight. The savior looked at the warlock. "What's this?"

"Supplies. You DO want revenge on Ryan for yesterday, right?" The sword master nodded. "Well, I'm pretty mad at him for burying me under an avalanche of books. We're in the same boat here. Plus, you look like you need some help." The knight thought over her situation…

O=O=O

Lire pulled the watering can and baskets out of the shed. Ryan followed shortly after with a large amount of fertilizer and seeds. "Well, let's go." The druid urged the archer onward. The duo navigated through the mass of vines, flowers, and trees that was the garden.

After reaching their destination, the archer whispered something into the druid's ear. The male elf simply nodded. "I had a feeling I was a primary suspect. Don't worry, I'll be ok."

The nova quickly pulled her bow out of thin air, sighing. "Alright. I'll be back in a little bit. Now, if you don't mind, I have watch duty to attend to…"

O=O=O

As the mage and the knight wandered down the main trail of the garden, they began to plan how they were going to catch the druid. Of course, the two of them could not agree on anything specific. Their arguments soon became all too familiar, becoming irrelevant to the problem at hand.

"Arme! WHY YOU LITTLE- WELL YOU'RE THE ONE WHO FIRESTORMS ME ALL THE TIME!"

"I'll stop when you learn to calm that temper of yours."

"Well, EXCUSE ME PRINCESS! I'M SORRY I'M NOT A PERFECT GOODY-GOODY TWO SHOES LIKE YOU!"

"You're nothing but a little, immature brat. Calm your nerves and face the truth!"

"That's enough from both of you!" The two quarreling girls looked for the source of the voice. They found its owner atop the gazebo. The elf was armed, bow in hand, ready to fire at any given moment. "I know why you're here. Allow this to be a warning: put a finger on the nature-loving, happy druid, and I will make you feel my full wrath." The archer released the arrows.

"ABSCOND!" The Knight yelled, dragging the mage back to the house. Arrows were raining down from above, piercing anything and everything in their path. The duo was almost hit by one of Lire's flaming arrows, which nearly scraped the alchemist's arm.

"Mommy…" The poor warlock cried as she was dragged limply along.

O=O=O

"Well that crosses out that option." The knight muttered under her breath. The warlock and the sword master were hiding in a bush, discussing their next plan.

"Elesis… Lire's scary when she's mad." The mage cried next to her, almost in tears and tugging the knight's sleeve.

"I know she is, but we need to stop her to take out the big bad wolf-man."

Arme sniffled "Okay."

"Now here's what we're gonna do…"

O=O=O

Lire observed the scene from her position atop the gazebo. Staring down over the scenery, she was able to make out the mage and knight duo making their way towards the large hedge maze in the middle of the garden. She decided to investigate herself, leaping from her post atop the covering. She dashed quickly down the walkway, hoping to be able to cut the two of them off before they reached the druid.

The elf quickly readied her bow as she approached the alchemist and the spearmaiden. (A/N: Spearman doesn't seem like the right term for Elesis…) She instantly noticed that the two of them were carrying a large amount of land mines to bury. The elf let out a slight chuckle at their simplicity. She had expected more from the possible-genius mage. The elf hid behind a bush and waited for them to place most the mines.

O=O=O

Elesis had decided not to use a shovel. Rather, she had brought out the magical little thing called a jackhammer, and had begun to drill holes all over the place. Very soon after, the path back to the house was filled with holes. It occurred to them: They had blocked their way back. The two of them facepalmed.

"Elesis, I BLAME YOU!" Arme shouted while pointing at the knight.

"MY FAULT? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STOLE THE EXPLOSIVES FROM MARI'S LABORATORY!"

"BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO!"

"SAYS WHO?"

"SAYS THE AUTHOR WHO IS WRITING ALL THIS!" Arme, don't break the fourth wall. It's annoying to fix.

Elesis made a pouty face and turned away, crossing her arms. "Well you're the one who's helping me with this."

"Because I thoug-" Her words were cut off by a sudden explosion from the distance. Apparently, someone had taken ALL of their unburied land mines, thrown them into the air, and blown them up. The two girls watched as all their effort went to waste. What a shame… They were so close too…

"AUTHOR, SHUT IT!"

Sheesh don't need to be so mean about it.

So, the duo watched the debris fall from the sky, and realized they were now lacking a proper plan to get at Mr. Druid.

"BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD!" Elesis shouted, dragging the mage back to the house… and into a hole. "AFTER WE GET OUT OF THIS HOLE!" She added.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you for bearing with me while I revised this part! I'll get the next chapter up ASAP. <em>


	4. Ch 4: Playful Demolition

FINALLY UPDATED! I've compiled the rest of my notes to the bottom... Enjoy the (massivly delayed) chapter!

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><p>Ch 4: Playful Demolition<p>

Before we move on, we must go back a little… back to what the others were doing earlier that day. While the mage and the knight were doing stuff in the garden, the other members of the chase decided to snoop around themselves for clues. They didn't want the house to burn down because of some silly prank.

So, they began to hunt down the man responsible. Or, at least, Jin and Amy did. They were still pretty mad about the flood incident the other day. Sieghart had decided to tag along to save his granddaughter from possible sadistic torture, or worse. The three of them began to snoop around, looking for any clues to the culprit.

The trio gathered in the dining room. Sieghart eyed them both, "So, where do we start? There isn't exactly any magical guide we can follow, you know." The fighter and the muse exchanged glances.

"Well, um… just hunt around I guess, and we'll alert each other if we find something." The shisa replied. The dancer nodded in agreement. And so the three of them separated…

O=O=O

Jin walked through the hallways of the second floor, looking for something to help him out. He decided to start with the empty guest room.

The first thing he noticed upon entering the room was a large, gaping hole in the middle. This came as no surprise to him, as he knew of its existence prior. He remembered the flood incident from the other day and clenched his fist. He couldn't believe that someone had the nerve to-

_CRASH!_ Without warning, the remainder of the floor crashed below, leaving a now rectangular hole. Of course the fighter was carried along with it. He's not very happy now is he? When he looked back up, he swore he could have seen someone staring down at him. He began to run for the stairs. He was going to get the sorry fool who messed with him.

Up the stairs he went! 5 steps… 10… 15… 17th step and the second floor. He dashed down the hallway to find… and experimental goat cannon loaded and aimed at him. From his point of view, the fighter was unable to see who was in control of such a device. However he did instantly note that a goat was suddenly flying at him.

"OH N-"

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

O=O=O

Amy wandered into the kitchen. She was hungry, and wanted to make herself something to eat. An almost instant reaction made her reach for the refrigerator. Why is there a fridge in this time period? I'm sure Mari invented it…

DIGRESSION! Moving on.

Ronan just happened to have entered the room the moment Amy finished her mystery food. He was going to feed his dragon, McLovin. Why did he name his dragon McLovin? I don't know. Ask him yourself.

Well, Amy was not entirely convinced everybody hated her food. She required a test target to confirm. The unfortunate victim, Ronan, was currently in the room looking for meat to feed his oddly named dragon.

"Hey Ronan! Can you test out this sandwich for me?" The sandwich handed to him was no more than a sandwich shaped black blob. He swore it smelled like burnt eggs. The spell knight went pale, recalling the event earlier that day.

"I happen to be… rather busy… at the current moment…" A large amount of sweat began to trickle down his neck. "How about… YOU GIVE IT TO RYAN! Ahahahahaha…"

Ronan, you're a bad friend aren't you…

"SHUT IT AUTHOR!"

Alright Mr. Grumpy.

Amy replied cheerily, "OKAY!" The dancer waltzed off. Ronan sighed in relief and went back to searching the fridge. He pulled out a large turkey and proceeded to haul it out. Before he could move ten steps, something crashed through the ceiling…

O=O=O

"What asshole leaves a goat cannon in the middle of a hallway?"

"I don't know either Sieghart. I thought you might." Jin responded. The raven-haired man turned to the fighter.

"And… how am I supposed to know why?" Jin shrugged. The two of them stared at the large mechanical contraption blocking the hallway.

Sieghart made his way towards the strange device. Without warning, a strange humming began as the machine activated. A mechanical voice recorded by a very familiar engineer made itself clear.

"Commencing Fire Sequence: Rapid Shot"

"OH SHI-"

A multitude of bleets echoed throughout the house.

O=O=O

"MCLOVIN! GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Absoulutly not, love." The guard master made a pouty face.

"?"

"No Ronan, because I wuv you." The dragon rolled her eyes at this.

Ronan's face was quite flushed at this. "WHAT? DRAGONS AND HUMANS CANNOT INTERBREED!"

"Whatever. Did you bring me food?" McLovin raised her neck at this. Her head hit the remnants of the ceiling. The same ceiling that she destroyed upon her entry.

The spell knight handed the turkey to her. "Here."

"You always get me turkey."

"No I don't"

"Yes, you do. I want FRESH meat for once."

"!" A goat came tumbling down the stairs.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, FRESH MEAT!" McLovin lunged at the defenseless creature.

"MCLOVIN, NO!"

O=O=O

"BAAAAAAAAA"

"SOMEONE HAS TO-"

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"TURN OFF THAT-"

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"RIDICULUS CANNON!" The gladiator finished, while dodging the incoming barrage of sheep.

"GOOD IDEA!" The fighter replied, knocking one of the sheep out of the air. The gladiator gradually made his way towards the device. He quickly searched for a control panel. All he found were three big buttons. One was labeled "On", one was labeled "Off", and the third button was labeled "Self-Destruct: DO NOT PUSH!"

What button to push… what button to push… ARGH IT'S SO NERVE WRECKING ISN'T IT SIEGHART?

After a five second examination, Sieghart pushed the off button.

Well that was ea-

"MCLOVIN! GET BACK HERE!"

"NOT UNTIL I GET MYSELF A FRESH, TASTY MORSAL!"

Oh look, it's the boy and his dragon.

The dragon was bashing left and right into the walls, trying to catch the fleeing goats. Jin suddenly found himself reeling into his own room through the wall due to the dragon's shoulder slamming into him. The goats ran past the gladiator, McLovin close behind.

*WHAM!*

Sieghart was likewise sent through the wall into the room of his granddaughter. The gladiator's attention was quickly snatched by the rampart McLovin's wing nearly opening in his face. A black aura surrounded the warlord.

"THAT'S IT!" He cried, running towards the dragon with his gladius.

"NO! DON'T HURT MCLOVIN!" The spell knight jumped in front of the charging duelist. The dark aura died down immediately.

The prime knight held back his laughter. "You named your dragon… McLovin?"

"IT WAS A COIN !" The spell knight shouted as he was flung out of the hall way, through the roof, and into the sky by his trusty dragon.

"Well, that was fun. Master Ronan is amusing to toss." The dragon stared up at the sky, then lowered its head. "Oh look, more ammo. Let's do it again…" The dragon eyed Sieghart evilly.

The gladiator gulped.

O=O=O

"!"

"ARME, NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU!"

"IT'S WORTH A SHOT!" The mage stared back up at the opening. "!"

The knight facepalmed herself. Then she thought to herself, why did she dig such deep holes?

Luckily, at that very moment, the dancer happened to be nearby, and happened to hear their pitiful cries. The pink-haired girl peered inside one of the many holes littering the area.

Nothing.

She then peered in the next hole.

Still nothing.

So, the dancer peered down a third hole.

Congratulations! You win the prize of two people stuck in a deep hole! The mage and the knight are glad someone is there to get them out of there.

"What are the two of you doing?" The dancer cried down.

"WE'RE STUCK!" Was the synchronized reply.

"Well, hang tight. I'll get you out of there…" The dancer ran off to get some rope.

O=O=O

Sometime later, the dancer returned with a large hose. Apparently, somebody stole the rope ladder. When did they get a rope ladder in the first place? No matter. The mage and the knight quickly climbed out.

Now, the only thing left to do for the knight was to eliminate the druid. "I'm doing this the OLD FASHIONED WAY!" The sword master cried as she marched off.

"Elesis…?" The mage called in confusion. "Aren't you going to-"

"NO PLANS! THE DRUID IS DEAD!"

"Suit yourself…"

O=O=O

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCCO?" The druid called out. "WHERE ARE YOU?" Ryan had lost his pet, I mean, buddy Rocco the raccon somewhere in the hedge maze. Ryan thought to himself, _'Who planted this hedge maze in the first place? Oh right. Me.'_ The viken facepalmed.

The sentinel continued his wandering around, calling for his raccoon's name. Eventually, he found himself in the center of the hedge maze.

There was a sudden whooshing sound from behind him. He turned around. Nothing.

The whooshing sound was again heard, this time in front of him. He turned back around. Still nothing.

Sudden footsteps. A battle cry. It suddenly occurred who was there.

Elesis charged. "RYAN, YOU ARE DEAD MEAT!"

Two words entered Ryan's mind.

Oh shit.

Lucky for him, Ronan came crashing down out of the sky onto Elesis before the red-haired girl could lay a finger on him.

The druid turned his hands to the sky. "OH GREAT GODDESS GAIA! THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS BLESSING!" This received a glare from the pinned Elesis.

"Ryan, I am not a blessing from your goddess. I am the royal guard master." Ronan replied, rubbing his head. "Oh hi Elesis." He stared down at the knight.

*WHACK!*

Ronan was sent flying for the second time that day into a nearby bush. The enraged knight made her way towards the druid. "AS FOR YOU-"

"!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

*CRASH!*

A 600-year old gladiator had followed the spell knight. Joy to Elesis. The knight was soon pinned down by a very surprised and very angry Sieghart.

He turned to the spell knight. "RONAN, YOUR DRAGON IS DEAD!" Then, he marched off, dark aura and all, to kill said dragon.

Ryan was very confused. "What happened?"

"Ah, you know. My dragon saw a goat and chased it."

"We don't have any goats Ronan."

"Somebody left their goat cannon in the hallway…"

The druid was in shock. "THAT'S ANIMAL ABUSE! I'LL SAVE YOU GOATS!" Ryan stormed off cleaving everything in his path. A graceful archer hopped from hedge to hedge, following the vanquisher.

"WAIT! I STILL HAVE BUISNESS WITH YOU!" The knight was about to leave after the elves, but was stopped by the spell knight.

"It wasn't him."

"What?"

"He's not the prankster. He wouldn't hurt a goat."

"Aw… DAMNIT! SO CLOSE TOO."

O=O=O

Now, in the midst of this chaos, the thief was facing a problem of his own. He was heavily convinced a clown was following him.

Of course there were no guarantees of such a ridiculous notion. However the assassin hated clowns, courtesy of living in a demonic circus during his childhood years. Therefore, he felt completely and entirely obliged to hand the clown's ass straight to him on a silver platter. If it existed, of course.

So forth, Lass began to think of methods to exterminate the monster (clown). Perhaps he could give the smiling psychopath (clown) a large bottle of faygo as bribery to make it leave.

NO! Clowns do not cooperate, even if given faygo.

The assassin found himself at a lack of ideas. How to eliminate that rainbow sadist (clown)…

BINGO! He'd lure the evil juggler (clown) out, then kill it and hide the evidence!

It was foolproof. The moment the clown was eliminated, he would be ever so satisfied. And less paranoid. Now all he needed was ten explosives and a large horn…

O=O=O

*Honk!*

"Come out come out wherever you are, you stupid clown."

*Honk!*

"If you do, I'll get you a nice little car, so you can leave ASAP."

*Honk!*

Kaze'doggeh eyed his master worriedly. "Master, I think you've lost it."

Lass stared back down at his dog. "I haven't lost it. I just want that rainbow asshole gone."

"Master, you're running around, honking a horn. You hate horns. Plus, I haven't seen a clown for three months now."

"I swear there's a clown." If Kaze'doggeh had hands, you would see him facepalming right now. "Speaking of the clown, aren't you supposed to be helping me find it?"

"I don't smell any clowns. I don't smell anybody, actually. Besides you of course."

"Wait a second…" The thief stared evilly at his dog. "…You saw a clown three months ago?"

"It turned out to be your half-brother dressed as a clown to try and mess with you. Nothing special."

"MY BROTHER IS A CLOWN?"

"No. He was dressed like one though."

"Oh." The striker facepalmed himself.

Kaze'doggeh, almost as if on reaction, stuck his nose into the air. "Is that… pie?" The dog began to follow his nose towards the scent.

"Kaze! Wait up!" Shouted the assassin running after his dog. Down the winding hallway the small dog ran, right into… a large clown. Almost on reflex, Kaze'doggeh bit the figure. All the man did was turn down and glare at the puny dog. Kaze'doggeh began to whimper.

"Master…"

"BACK OFF MY DOG, YOU BLOODY JUGGALO!" Lass was standing in the hallway with Rufus's Arbitor, aimed, loaded, and ready to fire.

A cloud of dust appeared as the striker blasted away. The walls were soon littered with holes, and the ceiling quickly collapsed. Being on the lower floor, the possessions of the laboratory above were soon falling through the hole, engineer and all. But Lass didn't stop there. He wanted the clown DEAD. So, the bullets continued to fly as the clown remained seemingly unharmed.

Eventually, the thief lost sight of the jester through all the dust, and began to blindly fire. This created a bigger cloud of dust and debris, ruining the hallway.

"Lass, ENOUGH!" Mari had had enough of this meaningless destruction. She rushed towards the assassin. "Buster." She whispered under her breath.

Lass was sent flying… right into a surprised Mary Jane. The maid had heard the noise and had come to investigate. "Lass, Mari, what's going on here?"

"THERE WAS A CLOWN!" Mary Jane stared back at the clearing haze.

"Lass, it's a harlequin doll." Mari added, poking the doll. All eyes turned on the thief.

"I SWEAR IT MOVED!" Their thoughts were scattered by a sudden explosion in the distance. The maid and the engineer dragged the thief away by the arms.

O=O=O

"GOAT CANNON EXTERMINATED!"

"RYAN, YOU JUST BLEW UP MY ROOM!"

"I'M SORRY ARME! IT'S FOR THE GOOD OF NATURE!"

"But Ryan, there were less destructive ways to eliminate the goat cannon."

"I DON'T CARE! IT'S GONE!" The druid has an incredibly satisfied look on his face, like he had just saved ten whales and a rainforest. Watching him in his little moment of glory were the mage and the archer. The dragon had exited the hallway at an earlier moment, leaving a giant hole in the roof as proof of her exit.

The maid, the engineer, and the thief soon entered the scene, appalled by the damage done to everybody's rooms.

"Aaaaand I'm going to have to clean this aren't I…?" The maid stated with a hint of melancholy.

"MY… MY GOAT CANNON!" Mari was not amused.

"THIS IS YOURS?" The male elf asked in shock.

"It… was experimental…" The engineer was still in shock that all her work now amounted to nothing. "How did it get in… the hallway…"

"You didn't put it here?" The archer asked.

"No, I did not." The engineer was not coping well…

"Whelp, looks like nothing interesting is happening here…" Lass said aloud, trying to squirm from the maid's grip.

"Not… So… Fast…" Mari aimed her maverick at Lass.

The sound of bullets, lazers, and screams continued to ring through the house until the sun was no longer visible in the sky.

And so concludes another simple day in the lives of the Grand Chase. Or does it…

O=O=O

*Somewhere else, VERY far away*

"Zero, by any chance have you seen my Gatling gun?" Rufus questioned Zero. The wanderer merely shrugged, not moving his gaze from the fire. "Well, that sucks." The bounty hunter had been unable to find his Arbitor after five days of vigorous searching. He never left a gun behind before on a mission. Three seconds of silence, then… realization.

Rufus raised his voice to the sky. "LASS, YOU ARE DEAD MEAT! YOU HEAR ME? DEAD MEAT!"

"Rufus, if you don't shut the fuck up, I will ensure your body is maimed beyond recognition."

"LEY, YOU ARE AN ASS!"

* * *

><p>Notes:<p>

*I'm so sorry I took so long... I really just procrastinated a lot.

*I'm going to finish this story up ASAP so I can start another. I promised myself I wouldn't start another story until I finished this one.

*I revised the third chapter of this fanfic, for those of you who didn't see that already. This chapter will make more sense if you read the new version.

*For those of you who didn't catch it, McLovin is a girl

*McLovin's name is a reference to another GC fanfic I read once on the NAGC forums. The fanfic is named Bacon Bits. I'm too lazy to go fetch a link...

*Faygo loving clowns and Harlequin dolls are a reference to Homestuck. For those of you who know what that is.

*Special thanks to Reiko Tsuchikake for the clown idea. Your help is always appreciated.

*I am very satisfied for some reason with the mini-epilogue of this chapter.

That's all that comes to mind at the current moment. Sorry for the delays, and I'll try to get the next chapter up in about two weeks, or less... I'm a slow writer...


	5. Ch 5: The Day of Missing Objects

This chapter was a LITTLE rushed, but I wanted to get it uploaded before I got my laptop repaired. Enjoy~

* * *

><p>Ch 5: The Day of Missing Objects<p>

What to do, the man wondered to himself. He was running low on ideas to keep his boredom away. He was doing a grand job keeping attention away from him, but how to keep it away from him was the question. He needed somebody to blame.

He wandered around the living room, thinking about a good prank to pull of the next day. Due to a lack of good night vision, he accidentally stepped on a horn left lying on the floor from yesterday's events.

"Shoot," He whispered under his breath as he exited the room. The loud honk echoed throughout the empty house.

"Who's there?" He heard a voice call out from behind him. It was nobody other than the thief, awake on night business. "Show yourself." Clearly he wasn't in a good spot.

Then it hit him. Blame the thief.

But first he had to get away. He dug through his pockets to find the smoke bombs he had found earlier. The striker was left coughing as the prankster dashed away.

He quickly snuck through the halls to the assassin's room to steal several kunai. He grabbed paper and ink, and began his work…

O=O=O

Ah, what a beautiful morning. The sun is shining down, there's not a cloud in the sky, and the birds' cheery tune rings through the sky. Why nothing could ever go possibly wro-

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The fighter looked up from his book in worry as the cries of a very familiar dancer vibrated through the walls. He bounced into action, dashing up the stairs to the pop star's room. He kicked down the door.

"IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?" Amy ran up to the fighter.

"IT'S GONE!" She cried.

"What is?"

"MY MAKEUP KIT! IT'S GONE!" Now who could have done such a thing? On the dancer's makeup table, a large ink blot was splattered over the desktop. On the mirror, in pink ink was written "Have a nice day!"

The fighter was infuriated. He was waiting patiently for breakfast to be prepared by Mari, when some asshole stole Amy's makeup. Nobody, and he meant NOBODY, messed with the dancer and got away with it. Not on his watch, at least.

O=O=O

On the other end of the mansion, while Mari prepared breakfast, Arme searched through the salvaged contents of her room for her diary. She had spent the night in the engineer's room, and now, browsing through her own possessions, she realized a missing object in the pile.

Her diary. Her precious dairy. It was GOOOOOONE!

What monster dared steal her precious diary…? Whoever it was, they were going to pay…

O=O=O

Mari finished putting the final bolts into her contraption. She was not in a very good mood, especially since she was placed in charge of meals for the day. She was too depressed to understand how the strange device called the "stove" was operated.

So, instead, she built a contraption to create breakfast from old waste scraps. She got the idea from some queen in Elrios, who built the first version and claimed it could solve human waste problems. An amazing contraption, if she had her opinion on it. Unfortunately, it was dismantled due to taste problems.

Taste problems! A ridiculous reason.

She prepared food scraps to be placed in the machine. Staring at it, she was sad that her grimoire had gone missing the day before. If it hadn't, she would have a higher success rate on her new machine. She placed the waste in and pressed the button…

O=O=O

Ronan was shaken from his sleep on the couch by a sudden explosion coming from the kitchen. His room had been destroyed with the goat cannon explosion the previous day, and he was forced to sleep on the couch. In addition to the loud noise, his face was repeatedly poked by a rather bored Elesis.

"Yo, sleepyhead. You're up." The knight noted in a monotone voice. The spell knight stared blankly at the knight for a good three seconds before registering the event at hand.

"Oh hi, Elesis."

"We have a problem."

"What is it?"

"The kitchen's on fire."

"WHAT?" It was true. Due to the explosion, the kitchen was currently engulfed in flames. The spell knight was reaching for some water to put out the inferno. The other members of the chase were now entering the room and staring in awe at the strange firestorm.

"Should we do something about it?" Elesis stated, still no change in the emotion of her voice.

"YES WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!" The spell knight could not believe her indifference. He stared around the room.

Sudden realization. You can shoot ice, you moron.

With a quick flick of his hand, Ronan sent a Lunatic Force into the fire. The rising vapor gave way to a very annoyed engineer, wielding a fire extinguisher.

"Apologies for that. My grimoire was missing, and I was unable to perfect my food-waste converter." The engineer had a hint of depression in her voice as she spoke.

"Funny that. My sword's been missing since this morning as well." The knight responded. Well, that explains her indifference. "Moreover, some asshole left a note in red paint on my door: 'Have fun!'"

"I've been unable to find my watering can." Cried the archer. "I found a green 'X' on my ceiling as well."

"MY MAKEUP KIT!" The dancer broke down into sobs.

"Come to think of it, I can't seem to find my tonfas…"

"I miss my bean bag chair… It was great for naps…"

"Sieghart you lazy ass."

"WHAT? It was missing, and in its place was a paint can. A dark grey paint can."

"My… precious diary…" The mage was in near tears.

"…where art thou plants…"

"I found this in my room." The thief pulled out a small note, written in light blue ink.

_I decided to give a little more incentive to find me. I've taken one thing dearest to each of you. When I am found, I will hand them back over. Come and get me!_

The members of the Grand Chase were not amused.

O=O=O

"Ronan…"

"Yes?" Elesis bowed down to the dragon knight.

"Help me…" Ronan sighed.

"Do you really have no clue?"

"I'm helpless…" The aegis knight knelt down.

"No, you're not. I think I may know who it is."

"You do?"

"Yes. It's quite simple really." Ronan began. "Let me show you." He pulled out some paper and a pen, then proceeded to write down everybody's names onto the paper. He instantly crossed out the names of any females. "First off, there are only three males who have any reason to prank everybody." He circled Ryan, Lass, and Sieghart. "We already know it's not Ryan…" The spell knight crossed out the druid's name. "… So that leaves Sieghart and Lass. Secondly, Jin and Lass are the only people who stay up during late hours." Ronan put a square around both their names. "But Jin won't touch Amy, and yet Amy is affected by all this as well." He crossed out Jin's name. "Lastly, the only person who can enter and exit anybody's room without them noticing is…"

"…Lass."

"Bingo."

"Wow, smart." Sieghart emerged from the shadows. "Let's get ninja boy then. I got the supplies ready to go."

O=O=O

"I'm heading into town for some business. Anybody need me to get anything for them?" Lass announced. Arme came running up with a paper in hand.

"Here's the grocery list." The thief stared down at it.

"Is this all?" He stared back at the mage.

"Yup!"

"Alright then. I'll be back at the end of the day." And with that, the thief jumped out the window.

O=O=O

"_This is Sieghart. Do you copy?"_

"I hear you, but remind me…" The spell knight avoided the strange glances he was getting from some passersby. "…Why am I doing all the work?"

Silence.

A voice emerged over the walky-talky. _"Me and Red got lookout. All YOU have to do is do all the fun stuff."_

"Fun?"

"_Yeah fun. Like throwing bombs."_

"Lass is my good friend. This is a bad idea…"

"_But Red will kill him, and I would do the same."_

"You suck."

"_I know. Now get to work."_

Ronan sighed as he placed the walky-talky back on his belt. He stared down at the supplies he was given. Rope, explosives, triggers, tripwires, and a large pie, amongst other things. Mmmmm, pie…

DON'T GET DISTRACTED, YOU DOLT.

He bolted through the marketplace, spreading tripwire everywhere. He placed at the end of each wire various devices that did various things, such as explosives, pie-tossing devices, alarms, and dart shooters. Within seconds of trap completion, several civilians were setting off some of the various devices. Later, Ronan would kill Sieghart for making him hurt innocent citizens…

"_Ninja boy approaching! Hide!"_

And, into the bush the abyss knight leapt. Right in time as well, because at that very moment Lass entered the area. The thief walked right into a trip wire.

Time seemed to slow as a pie was sent flying into his face. Dazed and confused, he stumbled into another tripwire, triggering an explosion underneath him. This launched him high up, and into another tripwire, and triggering a loud alarm. This once again dizzied him, as he wandered backwards into a dart shooter. The darts were filled with a strange poison, which served a similar purpose to a narcotic.

"You're arse's arse and I'm the grass man…" The thief then ran into a pole. "Whee... pretty chickies..." Not before long, he stumbled into a shop, grabbed a glass jar off the shelf, and threw it to the ground. "EVIL JAR!" He then wandered of to Samsara-knows-where.

Ronan felt like an asshole.

Lass woke up on a grassy field about 15 minutes later. He had absolutely no recollection of the events that had just happened. He quickly made his way back to the marketplace, rubbing his head.

O=O=O

"_Time for phase two."_

"Sieghart, you are dead to me."

"_I don't care. Now, get on your stand." _

Ronan grumbled, complied, and stood on his stand. He was painted silver, along with his stand, holding a wooden sword. His job was simple: Wait for Lass to turn the corner, and then proceed to bash in the poor guy. Ronan already felt horrible guilt.

Now all to do was wait for the cue…

_"Here he comes!"_

O=O=O

Far atop a hill, Sieghart and Elesis stared down at the scene through a pair of binoculars, shared by the two of them. Something was clearly up, as Elesis was unable to spot the thief through the binoculars. Instead, she saw four very familiar figures approaching Ronan.

"Sieghart… that's not Lass…"

_*WHACK!*_

"_Oh no… OHNO OHNO OHNO OHNO OHNO-"_

_*SLAM! CRASH!*_

"_Hey… hey man let's take it easy…"_

_*BREAK! CRASH!*_

"_MY ARM! YOU BROKE MY ARM!"_

_*SLAM! BAWK!*_

_"W-WHY IS THERE A CHICKEN? YOU THREW A CHICKEN-"_

_*SWOSH!*_

_"HAHA MISS-"_

_*CRASH!*_

_"WHY? WHY DO I SUFFER?"_

_*SLASH! SLAM!*_

"_I can see heaven… mommy..."_

The knight stared at the gladiator. This was followed by a violent beating.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Come on… all I wanted to do was-"

The gladiator's words were cut off by a very familiar stygian's voice coming over the walky-talky.

"_Sieghart, if you get your lazy ass out here, I may consider sparing your moronic friend."_

* * *

><p>I can suddenly imagine every single Lass fangirl coming after me... spare me...<p>

I'm really happy I didn't procrastinate this chapter. Please bare with me while I get chapter six, and the conclusion of this story, up and ready to post. Thank you for your patience!


	6. Ch 6: Showdown

Yay, it's finished!

Thanks to all my readers and reviewers for ensuring I didn't give up on the story.

Last chappy, and I am very pleased with the way it ended.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Ch 6: Showdown<p>

There was only one thought on the stygian's mind at the moment: Kill Sieghart. Who else would order somebody to attack him in an instant? Moreover, getting someone else to do the gladiator's dirty work was stupid. It was an obvious fact that if you wanted something done you had to do it yourself.

The spell knight was currently unmoving under the stygian's foot. Conscious, but unmoving. Ley and Zero had decided to head back to the house already, so it was just him and Rufus. The bounty hunter was hiding in a bush, ready to ambush the bastard who ordered Ronan to suffer via demonic punishment. I mean, ordered Ronan to attack them.

About ten minutes later, the gladiator arrived with his soluna, ready to kick Dio's ass. Elesis walked slowly behind her great, great… bah I don't care how many greats, grandfather. The drakar readied his soul reaver.

"Somebody's ready to die today." Dio said with a smirk.

"No shit Sherlock. You sure you want to die like this?" Was Sieghart's reply.

"Why you little-"

Within mere seconds, and a few more insulting remarks, a destructive melee began between the two of them. At this point, Ronan crawled away into a bush. Sadly, the bush happened to be occupied by Rufus.

"What the hell are you doing in my bush?" Ronan jumped in shock at the voice behind him.

"PLEASEDON'THURTME!IONLYWANTTOLIVE!"

"I'm not going to kill you."

"What, really?"

"Only if you tell me where Lass is. He's the one I want to kill."

Ronan began to crabwalk backwards out of the bush, right into a satisfied Elesis, smirking devilishly.

"Congratulations. Ronan, you no longer have to do the fun stuff. We'll just get Rufus to do it all."

Ronan was still shocked at his luck.

O=O=O

"_This is Ronan. How are things on your end?"_

"Good, good. Everything's ready to go."

"_Remember. The goal is not to kill Lass-"_

"I DON'T CARE!" Several passerby heads stared at Rufus. He instantly ducked down into a bush. "So, what's the plan?"

"_Well, we don't have one. Good luck!"_

"…" The bounty hunter took a moment to realize his current situation, and came to one conclusion: Ronan is an idiot.

He quickly decided to just fill the town square with explosives and hoped that Lass came through the area.

No, he would ENSURE that Lass came through the area. Now, where was that cherry pie…

O=O=O

Lass stared suspiciously at the cherry pie resting on the table in front of him. It wasn't that he didn't want it, it was just so… suspicious. Like someone had put it there on purpose.

Against all instincts, he took the pie.

Behind him, a large set of explosions began. He turned and watched as they got closer. Smoke quickly obscured a large portion of his view. He dashed out of the area, carrying pie and all. He instantly ran into a baker, who proceeded to yell at him in some foreign language. The thief apologized and continued to sprint away.

Several shops had been uplifted by the chain of explosions, and the remnants of those shops were now raining down upon the square. Chickens, pies, antiques, and many shattered pieces of wood and clay repeatedly pelted Lass in the head.

Somewhere else, Rufus watched, and screamed many colorful words as he watched the thief get away.

O=O=O

"_Clown zombies. That's our new plan."_

"What, no."

"_Then-"_

"_RONAN, HAND OVER THE WALKY TALKY!"_

"_Whatever you say."_

A brief pause followed, followed by Elesis's voice shouting through the walky-talky. _"LISTEN HERE, RUFUS! I AM REALLY PISSED RIGHT NOW. YOU BETTER GET IN THAT STUPID ASS CLOWN ZOMBIE SUIT OR I WILL COME DOWN THERE AND KILL YOU MYSELF!"_

"…Fine." The bounty hunter stared down at the materials he was given: A clown suit and zombie makeup. What better way to get revenge on his brother then to dress in ridiculous get-up and bite him. Great idea Elesis.

He quickly put on the costume. This was going to be a long day...

O=O=O

Lass glanced around cautiously as he entered the abandoned building. Something had been… very suspicious about the recent events. It appeared somebody was out to get him.

But who?

He instantly ruled out Arme. Arme would never lay a finger on him. The elves wouldn't either, so scratch those two.

This still left seven people. He evaluated them in his head. None of them had enough nerve to follow him all day just to attempt harm to him like that.

Then he thought: What if the demons came back? This meant Rufus would be back as well. Great.

He ensured he wasn't being followed, glancing out the window he came through. He turned around to find a clown zombie staring directly at him.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

He quickly readied his nodachi. He would need to eliminate the clown zombie quickly. The faster he did, the faster he could hightail out of there before reinforcements arrived. Clown zombies always traveled in packs.

He didn't know why he knew that.

Lass scanned the room for methods to quickly eliminate the creature. The walls seemed a bit lacking in support. An idea came quickly.

Within minutes, the thief had slashed multiple times, evading around the monster, which had produced a knife and was attempting to slash the assassin.

*CRASH!*

Within seconds, the roof had come crashing down on the clown zombie. Lass made his exit, leaping through a second window. He ran down the streets, avoiding glances from observers.

After the dust had settled, a hand just out of the rubble. Rufus pulled himself out of the ruined building and dusted himself off. Noticing the multiple onlookers, he stated "Carry on.", and ran off.

O=O=O

Ronan handed Elesis a large hammer. "Use this." The hammer was gold and red, and looked oddly familiar.

"A HAMMER! SWEET!" Elesis looked over the weapon in joy.

"And I'M the one who had to wear the fucking clown suit…" Rufus muttered from behind Ronan, glaring through the binoculars at Lass. "Lass is in a dark alley." He noted, turning to Ronan and Elesis.

"Why would he-"

"I don't know. NOW GO!"

O=O=O

Elesis wandered through the alleyways, looking for the striker. She wore a masquerade mask to conceal her identity. THE THIEF WOULD PAY FOR ALL THOSE PRANKS HE HAD PULLED!

She readied her hammer at the sound of footsteps approaching. She would have to be ready, for whenever the assassin would dare to sneak up on-

"Boo."

"!" The knight turned around, blindly flailing her hammer.

*SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!*

The hammer appeared to be making loud, squeaking noises every time a hit was landed upon the thief. Something seemed wrong, as Lass was not currently on the ground in pain, so Elesis began to swing harder.

At this point in time, Lass had realized that it was none other than a GOLDEN SQUEAKY HAMMER! That large hammer would be entirely unable to harm him, as long as it existed.

He instantly ceased dodging and watched as the blows were deflected harmlessly off him. "Is this a joke?" Elesis began to slow her attacks, now noticing the lack of effect.

"…I'll be right back. STAY PUT!" The sword master ran around a corner and pulled out her walky talky. "Hello?"

"_This is Ronan speaking. How may I help you?"_

"The hammer's not doing anything!" She hissed into the device.

"_That's because it's a squeaky hammer!"_

"WHAT?" The loud cry attracted the attention of the striker, who was about to leave.

"_Otherwise you would have killed him!"_

"This is… UNACCEPTABLE!"

Lass poked his head around the corner. "What is?" Elesis turned around slowly in shock.

"_Come on. You honestly didn't think that I would-"_

*Click!*

For a good two seconds after turning off the machine, Elesis stared at Lass, unable to think of anything to do. "ABSCOND!" The savior shouted as she ran off into the shadows.

Lass merely shrugged and continued on with his day.

O=O=O

"What now?" The bounty hunter asked, drawing circles in the dirt with a stick.

"Mushrooms." Ronan stated, staring at some plants.

Rufus looked up. "Excuse me?"

"Some mushrooms can make you hallucinate. Perhaps we can find one and utilize it. Also, shouldn't we be looking for the stolen objects?"

Elesis shouted out, "ACTION FIRST! Then we can get those worthless things."

"Worthless? MY ARBITOR IS AMONG THEM!"

"I don't care." The bounty hunter was almost done taking remarks from this girl. He would not be able to take the infinite grinding on his head that was… Elesis.

But that's irrelevant. They need to figure out what to do.

Oh wait, they already did.

Let's just skip ahead, past all the arguments and about 15 punches from Elesis to Rufus's face…

O=O=O

They had settled on using mushrooms to make Lass hallucinate.

So, Ronan was stuck with collecting mushrooms, and Elesis was tasked with forcing them down the poor thief's throat. Rufus would be atop the hill, on lookout.

Wandering around the forest, Ronan realized that he didn't know any hallucinative mushrooms. That was problematic… so he began to just pick any that looked like hallucinative mushrooms.

Hey, that mushroom looks trippy.

The guard master stared at the mushroom for a bit. It appeared to be changing colours at a fast rate, flashing neon colored light all around. He could also faintly hear music, though he thought the mushroom was making him hallucinate just by staring at it.

"This will do."

O=O=O

Lass could already see the knight in the bush behind him.

He wondered why she would be after him. He hadn't angered her within the last week. As far as he remembered, he hadn't angered anybody last week. Except Rufus.

He recalled the events of late. Prankster rigs house, Elesis assigned to catch prankster, she guesses wrong every time… leading to her ruining the day of whoever she came after.

Shit. He was next.

He carefully thought out his next few actions. If she charged, judo throw her to the ground and run, get Arme to blow up the knight, and then proceed to catch the elusive bastard-prankster himself. Simple.

As expected, the knight charged. As expected, Lass readied himself. As expected, he tossed her to the ground, creating a crater.

He didn't expect the mushroom.

The knight had forced the mushroom into his mouth mid-toss. He was not prepared, and therefore accidentally swallowed. As Elesis lifted herself off the ground, Lass had already run off, shouting something about rainbow juggalos.

The knight picked up her walky talky. "Mission accomplished."

"_That's great Ellie, but we have a problem. Rufus has decided that the mushroom isn't enough."_

"DON'T CALL ME ELLIE!"

"_Sorry, but you might want to find Lass. I don't think we want him dead."_

"Honestly, what the hell is he going to do anyway?"

"_He's riding a log down the hill. A very big log."_

Elesis stared blankly off into space as she put the walky talky down. She had noticed a cloud of dust riding down the side of the nearby hill. The spearmaiden had two options: Find the thief, or end up burying his dead body.

O=O=O

Lass saw clowns.

He saw lots of clowns, peeking at him from in bushes, from behind trees, and from atop roofs. They all seemed to be chuckling softly every time he turned to see one. That meant they were up to something.

Then he remembered the earlier clown zombie. Clown zombies travel in packs.

What he was staring at were a bunch of clown zombies, out to kill him. They were of malicious intent, and had to be stopped.

OUT OF NOWHERE A UNICORN CAME!

The unicorn was riding down the hill at an incredible speed. It was blasting rainbows from its multicolored horn, eliminating the clown zombies.

Lass wondered why the unicorn wasn't stopping as it charged down the hill. The assassin began to snap out of his hallucinations. The image of a unicorn soon shifted to that of a very pissed bounty hunter on a log shooting madly.

"HOLY SHIT!"

O=O=O

"Tell us where you hid everything." The savior stared angrily at the striker, dangling upside-down from a tree from a rope by his feet.

"For the last time, I don't know." The thief replied. Elesis punched him. That one bruise added to the many injuries he sustained from being rammed by a log.

"Oh don't you now?" Rufus pointed his eyetooth at his half-brother's heart.

"Nope."

"_I found it." _Ronan's voice chimed over the walky talky.

The bounty hunter stared at the assassin. "I'll drag this one back. I still have work to do."

"_Elesis, mind coming to help me carry everything?"_

"Sure, why not."

O=O=O

The man ensured he would get his way on the last day. He wasn't going to allow anybody to stop him now. All the pieces were falling into place. He had his fun watching everything become screwed up over the past few days. Heck, he even pranked himself to drive attention away.

It was all part of a simple plan really, and it had all gone so smoothly. He watched as Elesis entered the building. He watched as she reached for her missing sword. He knocked her out when she turned around. Within seconds, he had carried her away, bridal style.

Now for the grand finale…

O=O=O

Lass leaped through the window, narrowly dodging a spray of bullets chasing close behind. Rufus followed shortly after, charging madly with his nether blade.

"ASSHOLE! GET BACK HERE!" The bounty hunter ended up stabbing a broke coffee table.

Wait, how did it get broken?

It was then the two brothers noticed the current senario. Mary Jane was cleaning up a plethora of glass shards from the fallen chandelier. Sieghart was mourning over his ripped to shreds bean bag chair. Dio was dangling from the ceiling in a wedding dress. Mari was staring at a variety of smashed machines. Arme was wearing a maid outfit and bunny ears.

Lass got a riot out of Arme's current outfit.

This earned him a firebolt to the face. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

"Excuse me?"

"SIEGHART EXPLAINED EVERYTHING!"

Lass was confused. "You've got it all wrong. I didn't do…" He looked around the room as he spoke. "…any of this."

At this point a note had floated down from the ceiling. Following the note was the cross-dressed stygian. Said stygian read over the note once, then handed it over to Mari.

It read:

_You were idiots to think Lass did this. Honestly, he had no reason to. Well, not he does. But that's irrelevant. You see, I currently have Elesis in my possession as you read this note. I am ready to end with a grand finale. It will be so much fun._

Mari passed the note to Sieghart. Sieghart raged. He marched up to Lass, grabbed his collar, and shook him madly.

"WHERE IS ELESIS?"

"HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?" He dropped Lass and proceeded to do the same with Rufus.

"WHERE IS SHE?"

"SHE WAS HELPING TO GET OUR STUFF BACK!"

The thoughts clicked in Lass's mind. "How did we miss that before?"

"What?" The mage stared at him.

"Elesis didn't go alone to get everything. She went with someone else!"

All eyes turned on the thief. All mouths whispered the same word.

"Ronan…"

O=O=O

Elesis awoke to a shock.

She was being carried by Mr. Royal Guard Master himself, and the two of them were positioned atop a steep, tall cliff. There was a cord attached to her foot, tied to a stake struck into a rock wall behind them.

"Good evening Elesis! What a pleasure it is to have you with me!"

"Ronan?"

"Yes, it's me. Surprised?"

"You set-"

"All of it up? Yes. A lot of work, but yes. I did."

The knight began to struggle. "BASTARD!"

The spell knight smirked. "Over the past few days, yes I have been. But I am done tolerating you dragging me senselessly into your schemes and making me face pain."

"IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?"

The dragon knight gave an innocent smile. "Lucky for you, I'm not going to hurt you. Trust me, there is a 75% chance of survival!" He carried her over to the edge of the cliff. "Are you aware of bungee jumping?"

The knight shook her head.

"Well then, you're about to find out what it is." He readied himself to toss her off the cliff. "Have a nice trip!"

Three words echoed throughout the area as the knight plummeted down.

"RONAN! YOU ASSHOLE!"

* * *

><p>I'm sure Elesis will kill Ronan later. I wanted to do an epilogue about that, but decided against it. I got other ideas I want to work on.<p>

I plan to do a humorous one-shot on every character now. I already did Ronan and Elesis. Now to do everybody else. Currently next in line, Zero!

Once again, thanks to my readers and reviewers. You encouraged me to keep writing!

Oh, and for those of you who caught the Elsword reference in the last chapter, I commend you.


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